I am the line between humility and desperation,
I am the space between lightning and echo.
I am indivisible, split like a moonlit tide,
I am nothing, but I am everything.
I see the ocean roam, I hear the wind sing.
I feel the earth move, I hear the fire weep.
You are a sleepless angel, I am a breathless sun.
I can’t put into words the emotions I feel. There is poetry in the soul; sentences that weave the complexities of human understanding and words that paint the colors of life. I know none of these things. I can’t begin to fathom the well of actions, descriptions and possibilities, I only know the swiftness of the oncoming storm. It moves stealthily across my skin, shuddering against my eyelids and breathing stone into the swell of my throat. I only know the horizon in the softness of my sorrow and the darkness in the hardness of my anger. I only know what I have seen and heard.
I can only hope you see them in the lines of my face, in the wrinkles of my brow and those on either side of my lips. Did you know I have found true joy? I glimpsed it between river valleys and on the highest peak of the highest mountain. I caught it in the rising sky and in the crispness of morning - in the start of a new age, a new generation. A new dawn. I can’t put in the words the clarity of my revelation, my own epiphany that speaks volumes for humanity, for the faith I have discovered in my own self and in you. There is a brilliance behind the fragile notes in this song; madness in the simplicity of this melody. I can’t make you hear, but I hope you will listen.
I can’t tell you about the power of serenity or the strength in just a touch of spirituality. I can only feel it - deep in the hollow of my bones, in the abyss behind my eyes. Some days, I am a newborn, opening my body to the greatness of a fresh world, to the majesty of an eternal universe. Other days, I am as tired and grey as the slender curves in the heart of an oak. I feel the weight of what I have learned crush all that I am and in doing so, give birth to a me that is light and cares for nothing but the warmth and solace in the old. I am heavy, and I am free.
They say Man is an image of God, but I see God is an image of Man.
If God is the sea, he is the salt of my tears that fill it. If God is the earth, he is the spine of my being that shapes it. If God is grace, he is the mercy in my heart that wills it. If God is love, he is the hatred in my blood that fires it. If God is peace, he is the war amongst my demons that heralds it. I can’t show you a wound that leaves no scar, I only know the absent pain of the blow. I can’t explain the comfort in courage, I only know the steel it has left behind. I can’t write the breadth of wonder that is drawn from this song, I only know the turmoil I face when I am unable to reveal it.
The devil tells me God is within and I wonder how often the envy consumes him. I draw patience into the palm of his hand, I whisper sleep into his ear. The ocean is a shallow sanctuary beneath my feet, the land a church for my weary head to lay. You are a sleepless angel and I will build an altar in your name. I am a breathless sun and you will lull my shine into a fragile glow. If you are night, I am day. If I am a ship, you are my wind. I have seen dragons melt iron, I have seen children turn from hunger. I can’t show you these visions or the depth of these other worlds, I can only hope you might find and see them in yourself.
They say God created Man, but I know Man created God. And if God takes us to him, we shall take him with us.